Bad As A Mother

Are you bad as a mother?

This may come as a shock to many of you, but my Christmas Elf is pretty lame. After planning my 25 Days of Christmas (see post here), I’m not sure that I have enough energy remaining for creative elf-ing. And you know what? I’m totally fine with it. There are lots of amazing Christmas traditions that I am happy to keep on my list, but I’m gonna have to sit this one out. If you find yourself seeking the simple instead of the elaborate, you’re in good company.

A Christmas Tradition?

I’m calling BS on this whole “tradition” thing. At no time until fairly recently can I recall this little menace being a “Christmas Tradition.” What kind of a person would add another thing on for moms to do during the holiday season? Now if you are talking about Rockefeller Center and the tree lighting, I am in. Cookie decorating? Now you’re talking. Family Christmas movie night? You had me at family. Moving an elf around after my child goes to sleep is not going to sneak its way into my Christmas tradition list. Nope.

I’m Out for the Storyboard

Have you been on Pinterest lately? If you are even considering getting into this whole elf thing, you better be ready for some serious creativity. I am not the woman to go to for advice when it comes to this little fellow. My elf literally shows up in different places around the house with a note for the day. But that is clearly not enough. Apparently, you have to storyboard the whole event. Each night. For 25 days. There are scenarios that involve other dolls, props and possibly some food products. Ain’t nobody got time for that. If I have to create an epic narrative alongside a beautifully crafted replica of said scene, I might not make it through December 3rd.

The Competition is Fierce

Man. Even if I wanted to try to get in on this whole elf thing, the competition is fierce. This is definitely one of those competitive sports of parenting (read more about that here) and I don’t know if I am up for the challenge. I am not very crafty and I am not sure that I want this kind of merry-making to interfere with my sleep schedule. In fact, I would probably be embarrassed to post a pic of my very simple elf scenario next to the Martin Scorsese of elf drama. I don’t think my fragile ego could take the hit.

And so, to all you fabulous mamas participating in this insanity for 25 days, I applaud your creativity and dedication. For you the rest of us mortals, let’s keep the standards low and the scenario creation to a minimum. I believe my elf would want it that way.

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