Dear SAHM, I would really like to talk to you about what you do all day because when all is said and done, this gig you got going really isn’t enough. I know, I know, you want to stay home and “be with your kids.” Give me a break. We all know that you are just trying to get out of a real job. You know, the kind of job where you do important things. The kind of job where people rely on you. The kind of job you used to have when you worked really hard and saw the fruits of your labor. Yeah, the kind of job with a paycheck. This thing you got going on now can’t possibly provide you with those things. Let me break it down for you.
Back to Work
When the children go to school, well SAHM, it’s time for you to go “back to work.” It’s time to get off your butt and do something with yourself. I say BACK to work because you and I both know that you have had, at the very least, a five year vacation. I mean, what exactly is it that you do all day? It’s not really work is it? You don’t have to go to the office. In fact, don’t you even get to sleep in? Most days you even get to stay home and cuddle, so let’s get this party started. It’s been a long time since you had to do any real work and the kids will be fine. They will be in school all day long and I’m sure you will be able to figure something out when there’s a delay or snow day or flu or stomach bug or ear infection or any of those things. Seriously.
And while we are on the subject of work, what’s your side hustle? I mean I understand that you have kids running around and all that, but what else are you DOING while you are at home? I understand you didn’t want to be a full-time working mom, but you can’t be serious that your whole day revolves around your kids. Be honest, aren’t you just sitting on your couch most of the day while the kids entertain themselves? Aren’t they like 3 already? So let’s talk about the stuff you can do with all that spare time, SAHM. With all of that extra time you could be getting a second Master’s or perhaps running a blog. Maybe you are great at sales so you can start hustling for an MLM, there are so many and I hear you can make six figures in just a few months without doing anything. I mean, you better get your butt in gear because you can’t just be a mom. What’s the point of that?
Okay okay, I guess it’s okay for you to not have a real job and all that. I’m guessing you still have an infant or something, but don’t you remember that woman at the UN breastfeeding her baby? You can do it, girl. It’s easy. If you don’t want a paying job, there are plenty of volunteer positions you can take like the PTA. What is that, like one hour a week? I mean, let’s fill this calendar up, baby. There’s the Girl Scouts and Dance Moms and don’t forget all the volunteer options that sports provide you with. Don’t just pick one! Take them all. They only require a small time investment and very little effort. I imagine it’s easy to connect with all of the parents. Plus, with all those other SAHM’s in the area, I’m sure tons are volunteering right alongside you. Easy peasy.
Just a Mom:
Ah I see, so what you are saying is that you just want to be a mom? So all you do is clean, cook, wipe snot off of kids, clean up puke, run errands, keep tiny humans alive, foster the independence of your children, instill values, teach them kindness, be firm but not mean, read stories, color, break up fights, shuttle the kids around to activities, make snacks, play dress up, make more food, clean (again), do 73 loads of laundry, make sure you look put together, exercise, keep a mental calendar of 400 appointments and duties, clean (yes, again) and like, coordinate play dates, help with homework, answer 1000 questions a day that start with the word why, never lose your patience, teach manners, show up at school functions, get kids on and off the bus and that’s it? No career aspirations? You haven’t considered becoming a mompreneur? No side hustle or blog? No volunteer work. Man, you are really shooting low here. There’s so much more you could be doing with your life!