Bad As A Mother

Are you bad as a mother?

If you have been on the ‘gram lately, you will see all sorts of workout-related posts. It’s a new year, so the push for bikini ready bodies is fierce in mommy land. Not sure what kind of workout you should try? With one simple post, I can help you to determine what kind of mommy workout you need in your life. You’re welcome.

The Elitist Mom

If the thought of spending a car payment on a workout gets you excited, you may want to check out your local cycling gym. You are the mom with your nanny on speed dial, freshly pressed green juice in your fridge and a favorite employee at Whole Foods. Like shopping? What better way to spend more money than grabbing special gear, which I am sure can be found at your local specialty sports shop. Forget your local gym…it’s definitely not priced elite enough for your taste.

The Crunchy Mom

If you find yourself discussing your “spiritual side” with perfect strangers, you may just be a yoga mom. You aren’t too concerned about building muscle or losing weight, but creating a balance within your body. If you spend your days posting about what plastic straws are doing to our planet then your local yoga studio is calling. Grab a vegan mat and a sustainably sourced towel and get on over there. Ohm tattoo not required, but highly recommended.

The Competitive Mom

If you enjoy posting short videos of yourself doing insane challenges (note: you were one of the first to nail the ALS ice bucket challenge) this is the workout for you. You are as obsessed with fitness as you are with social media, so this is the perfect marriage of the two. I mean, how else will you let the world know just how bada** your workouts are? Obviosuly by posting videos of your body punishing workouts on social media as much as possible. Oh yeah, and a couple of pics of you “flexing” are also strongly encouraged.

The Bada$$ Mom

You are the kind of mom who enjoys body punishing workouts just like your cross fit buddies. However, you tend to believe that this workout has transformed you into an actual bada** even if it’s only in the confines of your gym. You enjoy loud gangsta rap and/or death metal and find that you have way more anger and rage than you thought. Kickboxing moms also believe that only workouts that make you want to throw up are legit.

The No Frills Mom

If the thought of getting “dressed” to workout makes you roll your eyes, you may just be a running mama. You are no frills and don’t have any time for fancy gear and monthly fees. While your sneakers may be pretty awesome, a simple tank and tights will get you through your workouts. You may even be listening to soothing acoustic jams while enjoying the outdoors. If you have a gym membership, you are focused on getting your “miles” in and getting the heck out of there. No muss, no fuss. Just like the rest of your life.

The Busy Mom

Gyms? Ain’t nobody got time for that. You have three kids under 5 and just about surviving the next hour. The thought of coordinating childcare just to run on the treadmill seems like more trouble than it’s worth. You are all about getting those 30 minutes in being done as quickly as possible. If you don’t mind being used as a jungle gym by your children while you attempt to workout, you might just have what it takes to be a workout at home mama. You may also even be toying with the idea of becoming a health coach.

If you haven’t found your workout yet, don’t fret! Everyone’s new obsession with fitness will be largely forgotten by February. Which workout mom are you?

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