Bad As A Mother

Are you bad as a mother?

Okay, I am going to admit it. I was totally into mom tribes. Mom tribes are basically the holy grail of motherhood. You find your mom tribe and you never let them go. Maybe it’s me, but just a short while ago I realized that I wasn’t exactly a mom tribe mom. Sure, there are lots of moms out there rocking their mom tribes and loving every moment. If you’re starting to feel like joining a mom tribe just isn’t your vibe, you might be onto something.

All in. All the time.

When you are a card carrying member of a mom tribe, you gotta be all in. And when I say all in, I mean ALL.IN. You have to be ready to commit to doing just about everything together. There will be mom dates and play dates and double dates and family dates and all kinds of trips, holidays and events. Okay, I really did love the trips, but the level of commitment is serious. If you aren’t quite ready for the level of financial and social commitment that a mom tribe requires, you may need to reconsider.

adult hands in white shirts overlapping in a circle

Are you a working mom?

Many mom-tribers are stay-at-home moms (tribute to you SAHM’s here) As a part-time working mom (more about why that sucks here), you may find that your schedule interferes with a lot of getting together. It starts to become awkward when you feel that you are  letting your crew down. When you are finally able to attend, you may still feel like you have missed so much and it’s too hard to catch up.

Extroverts Need Not Apply:

If you are the kind of gal with many social circles, mom tribes can pose a bit of a problem. With precious little “free time,” the demands of the mom tribe will take precedence. If you are an extrovert like me, you may think that you’re perfect for the mom tribe life. However, you may start to see less and less of your other circles of friends. If you have many different circles of friends, it can be difficult to balance them equally without someone becoming upset by your lack of presence.

entry signs in toll booth lanes at night

May I See Your Membership Card?

Now let me be clear. I am not saying that my mom tribe was a bunch of mean girls. I just started to feel as though I was in an exclusive club and I am just not that girl. I love having the freedom to invite random people over to my home. This doesn’t always turn out well when the company doesn’t exactly mix, but hopefully nobody hates me for it. When a group of women get to a point where they are baring their souls over cocktails, they are not going to welcome random strangers to that kind of get-together. While I respected this boundary, I didn’t think I was fully ready for a closed circle.

While I’m not down on mom tribes, they simply aren’t my brand of friendship. For you mamas rocking those mom tribes, more power to you! To those still actively seeking that mom tribe, keep looking. There is a tribe out there for everyone. As for me? You can still find me bringing my usual loud and boisterous self to those who can tolerate it.

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