Are you an extrovert married to an introvert? Welcome to my world. This homebody extraordinaire is my rock and my source of calm, but sometimes my source of frustration. I’m an extrovert to the highest degree. I have a huge circle of friends and get all my energy from social interactions. Hubs? Not so much. If you find yourself in this predicament, here are some ways to help balance out the frustrations.
A calendar is the extrovert’s best friend. I love writing down upcoming events and activities. Looking at a calendar filled with appointments and events is very exciting to me. To an introvert, that is pretty much the worst thing ever. Introverts need much more down time than extroverts. I’ve learned to balance out the number of events that I will ask the hubs to attend. Doing this helps me still get to the ones I want, but he gets to choose a few out of of the long list.
In September I am usually planning events well into the following year. My husband is still asking me at 11am on a Saturday what we are doing that afternoon. He lives very much in the moment with as little planning as possible. Mapping everything out is a great way for the extrovert to see what’s coming up and to prioritize. I typically choose my most important events to share with the hubs. He gets to accompany me to a few events and I still get to pack my calendar!
An extrovert loves meeting new people, but an introvert may not. While I get excited about going to new places my hubs can feel anxious and overwhelmed. It’s much easier to introduce an introvert to a smaller crowd. Whenever possible, I try to keep my introductions to a smaller crew to minimize the stress and anxiety.
Discuss Plans in Advance:
Most introverts prefer knowing what they’re getting into before they go. It’s super helpful to give hubs as much information as possible so he knows what to expect. Information like how long we will be at said event or who else he might already know can be helpful to ease the anxiety. Sometimes we even take separate cars so that he can tag out when he’s reached his socialization limit.
While opposites attract, they still have to find effective ways to compromise. Are you and extrovert who married an introvert or vice versa? Would love to hear some of your favorite tips!
Mom, wife, educator, and loyal friend. Passionate about all things reading and writing. Sharing parenting tips with an educator’s lens.