Bad As A Mother

Are you bad as a mother?

Wait. Hold up. WHAT did that crazy lady put in that featured image for this blog post?

I know. It scared me a little to put it in there. It scares me even more to actually say it out loud. Am I an awful mother? No. Please don’t misunderstand me. I love my kids more than anything and would do absolutely anything for them. My kids…


It’s become so taboo to be brave enough to not put your kids first! When I was young, and I KNOW when my parents were growing up, children were to “be seen and not heard.” Parents put themselves and their relationships first.

I’m not sure when that cultural norm shifted. Maybe it began to shift as new technology and new research started to emerge. When our lives started to revolve around around the myriad of kid activities and their respective schedules. Perhaps when the kids started running the show and dictating our calendars. When we threw our spouse a kiss while passing in the driveway. When our kids became the rulers of the family.

Let’s go back to the Elementary School playground. When you had a crush on Bobby, or Tommy, or Steve.

What did the kids all taunt you with?

Oooohhhh…..Kate and Stevie. Sitting in a Tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes the baby in the baby carriage.

Simple right?

Kind of genius. Kind of insightful for our adult relationships.

I was truth-bombed earlier this week with this article, posted by my step-sister. And after reading it, I couldn’t get it out of my head. I knew I had to share it with all of you.

If you can click on it and blow it up, read it. It’s not long. And I’ll do my best to summarize in my own words, based on the incredible insight of this article.

FIRST comes love.

Aww the endorphin releasing, feel good stages of dating, and compatibility, and doing what you want, when you want…not worrying about anyone but yourselves and what you’re doing this weekend!

First comes love. There would be no kids, no soccer, gymnastics, no picky eaters, or up all nighters, if it hadn’t been, first, for your love with your partner.

THEN comes marriage.

The months of planning. Finding the dress. Saying yes to the dress. The stress of the perfect flowers, photographer, location, and aesthetics. All of your family witnessing the testimonial of your love. Watching you two declare your love for each other, and make a promise to honor each other, to protect each other, to protect your love.

THEN (3…this is number 3) comes the baby in the baby carriage.

AFTER falling in love. AFTER committing to each other for a lifetime. THEN comes the baby, or babies. But as this writer and psychologist states. This baby would not be if not for your love and commitment to your partner. This child would not be if not for your wish to enhance, (not replace) your love as a family.

It is an incredible article, written by a psychologist, with some truly interesting truth-bombs. You may agree, you may not. But no matter what…make sure to remind your partner that if not for them, the beautiful family unit you’ve created is because you have committed to it, through love.

Honor that love. Keep it strong. Keep it a priority. Tend it, water it, weed it. Always make it first.

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