Bad As A Mother

Are you bad as a mother?

Things I learned From my Husband

There is no denying the fact that I am “Type-A” and that can be an asset most of the time. Other times, it can bring some challenges.  I’m prone to overly high expectations, perfectionism and anxiety over lots of unimportant things. That is where my husband comes in. He’s super laid back and has some really great perspectives on life. Now don’t get me wrong, my way IS always more efficient (ha ha), but there are some pretty awesome things that my husband has taught me on this journey through parenthood. Here are some of my favorites. PS: Don’t tell him I gave him credit for this stuff.

Photo by Alice Achterhof on Unsplash

Get Messy:

When you’re OCD about your house being clean, all that messy play seems like a bit of a nightmare. The educator part of my brain wants to encourage messy play, but the Type-A part of my brain wants to stick with safe, clean, organized play. Watching my daughter completely dismantle the playroom in just under 15 minutes makes me a little crazy. If I look a little closer, I see that she’s having the time of her life. Sure, there’s stuff everywhere and it will probably take forever to clean up. The flipside? She’s having so much fun. I’ve learned to let a little bit of the mess go. I didn’t say all of it. I haven’t completely lost my mind.

Don’t Panic:

I was totally one of those moms researching every possible symptom from the moment my child was born. Although I did struggle with PPA some of my googling continued well after that. My husband was always the one to talk me off the ledge. He has always been so much more calm and rational! Worrying about everything seems to be a natural part of my life. When I start to freak out about the stuff I cannot control, I always remember his great advice about worrying. There’s no sense in worrying about things you cannot control. Totally difficult for me, but great advice nonetheless.

Give Yourself a Break:

I am a workaholic. If I’m not doing something “productive,” I’m usually worrying about all the time I’m wasting. More often than not, my husband is telling me to relax and enjoy myself. Sometimes this irritates me, but lately I have been trying to listen more. He recently encouraged me to take a trip instead of going to a conference and I was so glad I did. My husband works hard, but he’s definitely mastered the art of getting in some rest time. I have definitely made a conscious effort to work some rest into my routine.

relax says the husband

Say No:

This has always been a struggle for me, especially when it comes to social events. Being married to an introvert (check out my tips here) has presented some challenges for this social butterfly. Being forced to prioritize my social events has really forced me to think about how I I want to spend my time. I used to say yes to everything and now I carefully consider the events that I want to attend. Saying no to events has been pretty refreshing! The best part is that I can actually enjoy the ones I do say yes to instead of stressing out about my too-filled calendar.

Although we are completely opposite, I can appreciate the ways my husband looks at things. I can’t say that I agree on everything because Lord knows we have our fair share of disagreements! It is always nice to have someone with a different perspective to help me maintain some type of balance in my life. For this “Type-A” mama, that is worth everything to me.

What kinds of things have you learned from your husband?

 

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